Tracey's Story

I'm 57 years old and as far as I can remember I have suffered with depression and anxiety. This has affected my marriage and especially being a mother! Being a mother to my amazing son is what I live for and my precious dog and cats.

After my son was born the anxiety and depression worsened. I believed I was a terrible mother because I felt so anxious about everything being perfect, which made my depression worse. I was on medication which didn't help. I also was seeing a psychiatrist.

I had a miscarriage and my father died of brain cancer. My marriage ended, I chose to leave thinking I'd be better off alone as we argued all the time. My mum took my son and I in.

I felt worse one night, I woke early - which always happened as I wasn't sleeping. I did the worst thing ever but as most people would think, yes I was a bad mother. I attempted suicide, I took an overdose.

My husband, mother and friends did not know how bad I felt. I was hospitalized.

They suggested I go into the mental part of the hospital. They changed my medication, it took at least 6 weeks to start working. I left hospital after 10 days.

My husband and I got back together. At the time my son was 4 years old.

When my son was about 8 years old, my husband told him about my mental illness and what I tried to do. As you would imagine my son was devastated that I tried to leave him….

To this day, I feel so much guilt for what I did. To this day, I still feel anxious and depressed and every day is a struggle. My son is 27 now and understands why I did what I did. He is my life and I am always there for him. We are so very close.

Kristine Ross